viernes, 13 de junio de 2008

disfrute


Es raro como noto que todo gira al rededor de ana
paso el dia entero viendo paginas de calorías
viendo flogs y blogs de princesas
visitando foros pro ana
paso el dia entero calculando como no comer
si veo una escalera la subo corriendo
si tengo que caminar unas cuadras lo hago rápido
si hay música bailo
todo para mover mi cuerpo y gastar calorías
miro la etiqueta de todo lo que comes mis amigos
de lo que me ofrecen y me niego
pasa grandes parte de mi tiempo inventando excusas para no comer
paso el dia fingiendo que como muchiisimo y que voy a engordar para q no sospechen
me llega a sorprender que buena actriz soy
o no tanto, no tanto la sorpresa digo..
disfruto casi orgasmicamente escuchar el crujido de mi estomago
o de como mi corazón se acelera cada ves que me muevo
como mi cuerpo se maneja para mantenerme viva
como comienza a sacar energías de la grasa para hacerme respirar
también disfruto de la balanza
de pesarme y haber bajado aunque sea medio gramo
disfruto de tomar pastillas a escondidas
de buscar información sobre laxantes
disfruto de romperme el alma para falsificar una receta de sibutramina
disfruto soñando que voy a pesar 47kg algún dia
y que sueño no sea tan lejano.
disfruto de este estilo de vida, que cuando lo vivís te das cuenta q no es una enfermedad
y disfruto de que es en el único espacio donde tengo soledad
y solo me escuchan estas canciones
y solo lo leo yo
o alguna princesa.
me fui a comprarme una cinta roja para la muñeca.

15 comentarios:

Princesa Juliana dijo...

Aii te tengo admiracion princesa cuando leo tus lineas...quiero ser asi! o volver a ser asi, si es que alguna vez lo logre del todo. Deje muchas cosas atras, pero es un momento nuevo, me hacen falta las fuerzas que me dan mis hermanas del alma, mis anas, mis princesas. Muchas gracias por todo, y sabes que ocntas conmigo, no tengo ams que decirte que SEGUI ASI, pero difrutalo, si? No estes triste, somos seres superiores que no necesitamos la comida y podemos vivir bien asi, SE FELIZ PRINCESITA. contas conmigo para lo que necesites

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